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collingreen 15 hours ago [-]
Very well written both in prose and tone. I'm glad she decided to tell this story. If the author isn't a professional writer I think she could be.
This is a great "behind the scenes" style look at the actual people behind a viral clip. Luckily they have an extremely strong relationship to help soften the blows here, I'm not sure an average (not even bad!) relationship could come out of something like this unscathed.
There's something feral in us that comes out from time to time, especially online from the safety of our screens. I found the announcers within the range of good fun but when it gets to people reaching out to break up their marriage or telling him to kill himself it becomes really sobering.
I think this is part of what people are calling the lonlieness epidemic - despite thousands of screaming voices the whole thing makes me feel hollow and hopeless.
st-keller 2 hours ago [-]
„There's something feral in us that comes out from time to time“? You write this, as if this is just human and inevitable. But in my experience it’s a matter of character. People can train their body and they can work on self control. I really wish more people would try to become a better person.
itishappy 2 hours ago [-]
Many instincts require self control to override, and character is your ability to to so.
Snap judgements are human and inevitable, but acting on them isn't.
I'm agreeing with you!
10 hours ago [-]
nivethan 12 hours ago [-]
[flagged]
gfody 12 hours ago [-]
> what are the chances someone randomly is a great writer
a lot better than folks who love pointing out "AIisms" and Pangram scores would have you believe. for starters just being a wife of nine years and a mother suggests at least a few decades of experience using language - that's already enough to be a better "writer" than a lot of people trying harder without the experience.
ChrisMarshallNY 12 hours ago [-]
> pretty clearly spruced up with AI
Get used to it. I don't think we're far from every bit of prose online, being at least edited, if not authored, by AI.
If people don't want to read AI, then they won't be reading anything but literary classics.
I'm not saying I find the prospect thrilling; just that it's inevitable.
As for the topic, projecting values, and life stories onto people from single data points, is a favorite sport of just about anyone. We often see people on this very forum, praising or attacking others as a person, and assigning motives; based on only a single comment. One habit that I've developed, is if someone posts something either in support or in opposition to one of my posts, I look them up, and try to find out as much as possible about them, before responding. It often fails, because people don't want others to know about them, but I suspect that it succeeds, a lot more than people might think.
stephencanon 12 hours ago [-]
> I don't think we're far from every bit of prose online, being at least edited, if not authored, by AI.
Zero chance of that happening anytime soon. I'm sure a lot of people have adopted it, and more will follow, but there are still plenty of us who enjoy writing and have no desire to let AI tools take that away from us.
> I'm not saying I find the prospect thrilling; just that it's inevitable.
I see no reason why this should be the case. All you have to do is keep writing and it's suddenly not inevitable.
satvikpendem 5 hours ago [-]
Ironic, enjoying writing yet not catching that "every bit" does not literally mean every bit but an overwhelming majority instead. That some people like writing does not negate their comment.
baxtr 11 hours ago [-]
Re topic:
I have found that in most cases you can simply ask people about their motives. Most often than not those motives and intentions are very different from your prior.
It’s not easy but developing a habit of "blank slating" is quite useful for inner peace.
hn_throwaway_99 12 hours ago [-]
I honestly do not understand this at all. I never use AI to edit my writing, nor do I want to. To me that defeats the entire fucking point of writing.
It's like learning to play an instrument, and then using AI to make you sound better. Why bother to learn at all then??
I get I may be very much in the minority here, but I still hate it.
gfody 11 hours ago [-]
> I may be very much in the minority here
you are not the minority, yours is the prevailing attitude on HN (and also the policy - AI-assisted writing is not welcome here) calling out AI isms and smells while ignoring the substance has become sport and an ugly look (IMO) especially with Pangram and sites like (https://www.salahadawi.com/hacker-news-ai-detector) automatically scanning everything that hits the frontpage (using the older/buggier version of Pangram no less)
smallnix 10 hours ago [-]
Perhaps because her goal wasn't to become a better writer, but because she wanted to get her view out there?
ChrisMarshallNY 10 hours ago [-]
Editing is critical. All professional writers get edited, and the quality of the editor can make all the difference. No writer likes being edited, but the editing can be the difference between success or failure.
I don't think that literary editors are doing a particularly good job, these days. That may be because they've all been fired.
LLMs can do a decent job of editing, but it imparts a "sameness" to the writing.
andy99 9 hours ago [-]
I’d go as far to say that no good writer uses AI for editing. It’s a tool for people that don’t know how to write, don’t know what good looks like, and are not confident enough to choose raw over soulless.
whycome 11 hours ago [-]
> It's like learning to play an instrument, and then using AI to make you sound better. Why bother to learn at all then??
I mean having a producer cut multiple takes or remove errors is not exactly new. And I think it exactly proves why people use AI. They could have spent a lot more time getting a piece to where they want it (and they often know where they want it) but why not get there faster. Intelligence and speed are related.
eudamoniac 5 hours ago [-]
It's pretty clearly AI.
dividefuel 12 hours ago [-]
I had my first kid a couple years ago and found myself spending a ton of time holding my kid while he slept, since it's the only way he'd reliably sleep. I spent a good amount of that time browsing various parenting and new baby subreddits.
One very common pattern I saw is that the conclusion is always that the dad is useless. Any provided facts are downplayed. Any omitted facts are imagined in the most negative light possible. And to be fair, there really are LOTS of cases where the dad is useless. The issue is more that posts needed to contain a mountain of evidence to return a neutral ground where the dad is no longer seen as a piece of garbage, rather than starting from neutral ground.
I feel for moms, who in addition to giving birth and having their lives upended to raise a baby, are now told that not only are most men garbage, but their man is garbage too. I feel for the dads, who even if they work hard are told how useless they are, and have to combat a stream of negativity fed to their spouse. It's a divisive wedge thrown into a new family, one that social media algorithms are only happy to encourage for engagement.
When I see instances like the one in this topic, I can see how the default narrative has been applied here. The radio announcers surely aren't aware of the storm they're creating, but it suddenly thrusts two average people into the social media spotlight, where people are happy to assume any missing details to fit their narrative. Everyone is going to apply the default story without taking any time to consider the possibility of other context.
EDIT TO ADD: I know there are manosphere spaces that are toxic too. As a man I've had no problem avoiding them, so this is one of my first extended exposures to this type of content, which is why it stuck with me. Probably also because I felt personally unwelcome as a dad.
CMay 12 hours ago [-]
People are animals and animals can be trained. Dogs can be trained, elephants can be trained, tigers can be trained. This fact is hated, but has been known for thousands of years.
Foreign adversaries, political extremist groups and so on are all clawing away at every facet of society that can contribute to training people to be and do what they want. For all of our information, language and intellect, those strengths are just an open vulnerability if they aren't protected.
You have to train yourself sufficiently on the grounded basics of reality, the truth and the nature so that when adversarial training against you and others strikes you can be wise enough to push back like this. You have to be able to surround yourself with people who disagree and stand your ground, because they're all being pumped with garbage from everywhere and don't know any better.
It is one of Russia, China, Cuba's and even Iran's way of attacking the US at a distance by funding these groups and amplifying the dumbest stuff you can imagine until these minority voices reach majority saturation in some of the information spaces where they can fester. Taking over education, journalism, social media and so on.
If the idea of the open society is going to survive into the next century, we're either going to need AI to ground society if we can prevent AI from becoming too centralized, or we're going to need to rapidly change education to teach people to think even if the reason we haven't been doing so up to this point is that it fragments society too much. If the alternative is a fragmentation that our enemies control, then a new enlightenment may be the better way.
the_gipsy 12 hours ago [-]
> It is one of Russia, China, Cuba's and even Iran's way of attacking the US
It's the USA eating itself and trying to attack Europe, if anything. It's American fascist billionaires who own, buy, and steer these social networks.
0xDEAFBEAD 8 hours ago [-]
This type of content is mostly on reddit, which leans heavily leftist. They censor right-wing views aggressively.
CMay 11 hours ago [-]
[flagged]
max__dev 8 hours ago [-]
> Communists caused World War 2 and yet love to play the victim.
This is an unconventional position. What's your rationale?
metiscus 7 hours ago [-]
My best guess is something like this:
The Soviets gave the Germans a free hand to begin the war by splitting Poland via the Molotov pact. Without that agreement, and without the preceding years of Soviet resource shipments and technical exchanges, it is unclear if the European war would have happened.
max__dev 6 hours ago [-]
This is about as far as I could guess as well. Unfortunately by this logic you could just as easily implicate France and the UK for the Munich agreement, as well as the failure to excercise their defense pact with Poland. So essentially every party with exception of Germany and the United States is at fault for WW2. This also leaves the Pacific theatre unaccounted for as you implied. So I'm very curious what the original commenter intends.
CMay 25 minutes ago [-]
The rationale is that Communist International (Comintern) based in Russia at the time was openly aiming for total global communist revolution. These weren't simply activists (though there was that too), but actual armed militant Marxist groups. They were in China, Japan, Spain, Germany, France, Britain, the US you name it. It was a pervasive problem in the early 1900s.
The US and Germany were both helping fight back against the communists in China and Spain. Everyone was basically on board with being against the communists, they just weren't on board with the extremes to which Japan and Germany were going. Japan was passing laws to suppress Marxist revolution in their country in the 1920s and Germany went to many extremes, routing out communists anywhere.
In Germany you even saw education being changed to fortify new students as anti-communist, because preventing communist revolution from taking over Germany was existential for them. The teachers knew what they were teaching, but they were afraid enough of communism that it seemed a reasonable defensive mechanism. There had already been examples of communist revolution upending countries, so it wasn't as if it was a fake threat or concern.
It was very real, and people who dismiss the pacts signed between Japan, Germany and Italy to cautify the fact that they explicitly saw communism as a threat, do so in ignorance. It's often argued that it was some kind of fake political front to justify their actions, but on close inspection that seems to absolutely not be the case. These people legitimately believed communism was an existential threat.
This is further evidenced in the years after WW2, where there were many more communist conflicts in other countries. Korea, Vietnam, Cuba, Cambodia, etc. If you put yourself in their shoes, simply imagining being any of these countries, would it be unreasonable to feel an existential threat? No. Just, flat out, logically, no.
So why did they end up invading all these other countries? What was that all about?
The communists love to control the resources and in terms of a total global communist revolution, you've heard things like domino theory and you could understand it in numerous ways. One is that, if you expand to control a tipping point of resources, then you can leverage those resources to dominate the rest of the world and enforce your revolution.
Japan and Germany wanted to route out communism in other countries, but they also wanted to leverage the resources. Germany working with Russia to take Poland was largely strategic, not a sign of actual good faith towards Russia. Both Japan and Germany explicitly intended as their end goal, to conquer Russia and destroy Comintern.
This is part of why Stalin dismantled the Comintern, to deflate Japanese and Germany aims while simultaneously fostering military support from the allies.
Another critical point to support my argument, is that even if you don't think communism was the primary issue, why the heck would Japan and Germany join forces, causing it to become a World War? You could certainly argue that it doesn't become a World War until that happens. After all, people often make the mistake of saying the war didn't even start until something random in Europe happened and they can never ever convincingly explain how that caused the war to spin out of control. It makes no sense, because it is BS.
The war was already raging in the Pacific long before anything began in Europe. So why were the things in the Pacific happening? The thing that unifies both of these conflicts is communism.
People often deflect and just say oh Hitler was a racist and it was just this and that. They never answer the question: so what about Japan?
If they were fascist, what is a fascist? Many things, but most fundamentally they are a reaction to the communist threat. Communism is underpinned by a philosophy that all action is social action, so every person must be an activist. This puts society out of order rapidly, because anyone not involved gets overrun if it gains traction.
So fascists develop psychological counter-strategies to communism. That's why the Nazi flag was red. That's why they emphasize race instead of class, to unify people rather than divide them. That's why they uplift beautiful art and collected precious artifacts that communists hate and try to destroy. Everything was an intentional counter-strategy to communist revolution. It's easy to look back on it and say it looks insane, because it is and it is patterned as the inverse of communist revolution which is also itself insane. They wanted to immunize their country as a cultural powerhouse to fend off communism for all time.
And if the revolution was going to take over sufficient resources to steamroll other countries, then Japan and Germany were reasoning that they would need to expand to counter it.
Comintern wanting total global communism was logically inept and wrong for them to do. Germany and Japan going nuts and killing a ton of people was wrong for them to do.
It wouldn't have happened if the communists had not created a global existential threat. Remember too, this is before the internet, before pervasive communications and such. People still largely got their news from word of mouth, newspapers and radio so I'm sure there was plenty of miscalculation to go around, but the slow verifiable things were undeniable and that's what they were reacting to.
The communists have been threatening to start World War 3 and that is also what the Trump administration is reacting to today. Between Cuba, Venezuela and Iran, both Russia and China have lost essential partners in rapid succession. We've been helping Ukraine target Russian oil infrastructure which has dual purpose, since it both weakens Russia and also demonstrates to China that not only is their Venezuelan and Iranian oil not secure, but not even the oil they get from Russia is reliable. China built the largest strategic oil reserve in the world which is something like double the rest of the entire world combined and they were going to use it to sanction proof themselves in the case of engaging with Taiwan. Now they are drawing it down, which reduces the chance of WW3.
the_gipsy 9 hours ago [-]
> Not everybody who is against communism is a "fascist"
The man that bought one of the most important social networks and has substantially changed its algorithm is nearly openly a nazi. It's not just the sieg hail the day of the presidential swear-in, it's everything he does to the world and the USA. And so do all the others.
> So you get the rude approach.
You're digging your own grave. Your president is handing over your empire piecewise to your adversaries for a fistful of gold. You must understand this: the only thing worse than communism, is fascism, because it's just corruption as a form of government.
signatoremo 6 hours ago [-]
What makes someone a nazi? What specific worldviews? Holocaust sympathy? Aryan supremacy?
theGeatZhopa 2 hours ago [-]
german here. just adding some soup to the meal, not offending.
for the definition what a nazi is, the movie "american history x" - that imo shows exactly what a nazi is: the main character is not german and not even in germany, but shows the nazi-mindset exactly! He glorifies hitler's thinking about others, fighting for the wrong idealogy for "own" country. ... Thats making a nazi. Neglection/sympathy for holocaust, supremacy thinking, .., too.
As I was told, the word nazi was invented by U.S. for the hitler and his followers so its a short word for national socialists (the party, its memembers and sympathisants) the US was fighting ("name your enemy"). Your question is about/implies nazi as "an individual person with a special characteristic", which makes that someone a nazi.
Its a "nation first + everything for the nation" thinking. For me a nazi is someone who glorifies the nazi time, saying it was all well done then, wanting those times back - like some elderly tend to say "earlier, everything was better". They dream of powerfull country with a straight people-body. Nazi think in races. And always say others are guilty for one's own failure, argument with "they" and "us" when they talk about own country/others.
So basically, patriotism, skinheads and far right are subsets of "nazi", but not full nazi :)
And may be, if one wants to be a REAL full nazi, its a must to shave the head and to have some on topic tattoos with being caucassian at the same time. This is how we differentiate them in germany - you see: "we" and "them". But i'm not nazi :)
funny, in US there was a nazi gang a few years ago, with the group's "leader" having the room full of nazi-stuff, flags and propaganda - as it came out later, he was jewish by himself and did not tell ..
Frank Meeik, Daniel Burros, but the one i mean was just like a joke of a nazi. But still dangerous thinking.
ai_critic 2 hours ago [-]
Has there ever been a prosperous and successful country that has not put its own nation first?
joinHNtheysaid 6 hours ago [-]
A family is a autonomous unit, in theory capable of survival without society for a while. For those who marry the state to receive alimony from the taxpayer this independent union is a blatant declaration of war.
throw0101a 11 hours ago [-]
> One very common pattern I saw is that the conclusion is always that the dad is useless. Any provided facts are downplayed. Any omitted facts are imagined in the most negative light possible. And to be fair, there really are LOTS of cases where the dad is useless. The issue is more that posts needed to contain a mountain of evidence to return a neutral ground where the dad is no longer seen as a piece of garbage, rather than starting from neutral ground.
You can find quite a lot of data showing that the burden of managing domestic matters falls primarily on women. I would recommend people check out the book Fair Play which examines the problem and puts forward a system where people are assigned various personal tasks that need to be done (there are 100 in total, not all of which may apply to your life/household):
> The result is Fair Play: a time- and anxiety-saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up domestic responsibilities. Rodsky interviewed more than five hundred men and women from all walks of life to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually entails and how to get it all done efficiently. With four easy-to-follow rules, 100 household tasks, and a figurative card game you play with your partner, Fair Play helps you prioritize what's important to your family and who should take the lead on every chore from laundry to homework to dinner.
I really enjoyed Fair Play. While we didn't really prescribe to playing the game rigorously or really start keeping track of cards, it was a great read for our relationship and really made both of us look at how we lived our lives and acted in our relationship. We immediately made some small but lasting pivots that removed unneeded friction and now have new-found respect for each others daily "grind".
I've recommended it to a few friends and they have had similar stories. Nothing life changing, but some small, nice changes to the dynamic and how they think about it.
csa 10 hours ago [-]
> I really enjoyed Fair Play. While we didn't really prescribe to playing the game rigorously or really start keeping track of cards, it was a great read for our relationship and really made both of us look at how we lived our lives and acted in our relationship.
This is probably the best (and maybe the only) way that this is a good game. As soon as it turns into score keeping, the relationship will almost certainly go sideways.
Maybe some relationships should go sideways, but that can be addressed in a different way.
throw0101a 10 hours ago [-]
> As soon as it turns into score keeping, the relationship will almost certainly go sideways.
The system / cards is not about keeping score: each card is a task, and whomever holds the card is responsible for it from start to finish. E.g., three of the cards are "Meals (Weekday Breakfast)", "Meals (Kids; School Lunch)", and "Meals (Weekday Dinner)"; this may fall to one person, but there is also the "Groceries" card:
> Your family needs to eat. Can we all agree on that? Good. So how do the pantry and refrigerator get stocked on an ongoing basis? With CPE. This includes noticing what’s about to be used up or expire, keeping a running grocery list, and getting to the market . . . ideally before you realize there’s not a drop of milk in the fridge. Even if your family orders groceries online and your go-to dinner is frozen pizza, this card requires CPE nearly 365 days a year. Consult the various “Meals” cardholders regularly so you can be sure you have taco shells in the cupboard for taco night.
So the Meals person(s) have to plan the meal(s), and make an ingredient list for those specifically, and add to to a grocery list, but grocery buyer needs to take stock of what is already present in the fridge/freezer/pantry and buy anything missing generally, and specifically for the meals planned.
treis 8 hours ago [-]
Eh, my marriage fell into this but it was because my ex refused to get a job, didn't think men were equally capable of parenting, and frankly invented a lot of work. It doesn't help that doctors, teachers, nurses, other parents, schools, and so talked to her by default. To be a truly equal parent or a primary parent as a father is swimming against the current.
artmanja111 14 hours ago [-]
Giants fan here. Watched the game. Even when it was happening and before knowing any of this, I could tell that Kruk and Kuip were going too far. It was starting to get super uncomfortable.
For those who aren't Giants/baseball fans, Mike Krukow (the Giants' color commentator) is retiring at the end of this season. He and Duane Kuiper have been the Giants' primary TV broadcast team for something like 37 years and have been best friends since they were teammates in the early '80s.
Krukow's mind is still sharp, but he has inclusion body myositis, and it's becoming unsafe for him to be anywhere other than at home.
It's just an emotional situation all around. They both thought that they would probably continue broadcasting together for at least a few more years, and now they're not.
So they're pulling out all of their usual schticks -- including poking fun at the fans -- and taking them really, really far because they know it's the last time.
I'm sure they would agree they went a little too far with that one.
9 hours ago [-]
snovymgodym 14 hours ago [-]
A really toxic part of online interactions is that it's very common for people to see a tiny snippet of another person's life and then project all of their own personal resentments onto them.
tsol 13 hours ago [-]
Telling women they're being abused even when the woman herself disagrees is a very ironic pattern I see often. Somehow it's seen as anti-sexist and yet it puts the onus on the woman to justify herself like the case here where she wrote an entire article. What happened to letting women make their own choices? I'm sure some of them are legitimately concerned, but I think a lot of people just want to spread their preferred narratives about the world.
jrm4 12 hours ago [-]
As a black man, I can't help but think of the whole Chris Brown thing here. Yes, I personally found what he did disgusting, and if everyone else obviously felt that way, I would keep that up.
But no -- I know too many Black women who have -- I suppose -- chosen forgiveness. Too many intelligent humans that I know or know of, are good with this for me to say "No, ladies, you are wrong."
tsol 12 hours ago [-]
That is a problem I've had with the whole "listen to women" thing. That became a popular phrase and I said okay that's reasonable I'll do so. Over time though I'll see women on both sides of just about every issue. Even women having the right to vote you'll somehow find women who disagree(probably for political reasons).
My only conclusion is the whole idea of "listen to women" is itself simplistic as it assumes women all think the same. Certainly I still listen to women, but im not willing to assume they all feel a certain way just because a few people insist they do. Otherwise Im just ignoring the women with the minority view
pfortuny 13 hours ago [-]
The father-mother-child-donkey conundrum. Its only solution is: to hell with anyone's thoughts, we'll act as we prefer.
alexjplant 11 hours ago [-]
I had to look this up [1]:
> C. T. Studd, (1860-1931) the famed English missionary who served God in China, India, and Africa, once remarked: "Remember the miller's donkey. The miller, son and donkey went to the market. The miller rode the donkey all the way and people exclaimed, 'Cruel man, riding himself and making his son walk.' So he got down and his son rode; then people slanged, 'What a lazy son for riding while poor old father walks.' Then both father and son rode, and people then said, 'Cruelty to animals, poor donkey.' So they got down and carried the donkey on a pole, but folks said, 'Here are two asses carrying another ass.' Then all three walked and people said, 'What fools to have a donkey and not ride it.' So let's go ahead with our work for God and not care what folks say."
Secular wisdom for the ages! 150 years ago we would have been taking a donkey to market wrong. Now with the advent of YouTube and Reddit and Twitter we've charted vast new swaths of incorrect behavior that we can leverage to make ourselves feel superior to others.
Or speculation grows and a few hours later it's suddenly historical fact, like a modern version of telephone... just with a more harmful outcome.
darth_avocado 14 hours ago [-]
It’s not only online. Just last weekend, someone heckled me at Costco because my wife was pushing a heavy ass cart while I was walking freely next to her. She chose to do it, I offered to take it and she refused. But somehow a random stranger had something to say about it.
Online behavior is unfortunately a slightly worse mirror of real life. If you want to experience people outside of your bubble, just go to any public hearings or meetings and you’ll find that a lot of people are quite out there.
IAmBroom 13 hours ago [-]
I admired a man tending to his partner at a restaurant, and my then-girlfriend told me that she could tell from observing them that he was controlling, and his deference was purely performative.
Because "of similar situations she'd seen".
She had magically deep telepathic abilities, it seems.
cindyllm 10 hours ago [-]
[dead]
hattmall 13 hours ago [-]
Ok, but like were you offended, I feel like it's mostly a harmless slightly funny observation. I wasn't there but like were they really trying to be mean spirited with it? I live in the south and there's a pretty much constant running stream of public commentary on any and everything going on and 99.9% of it is friendly intentioned even if on the surface it's deriding. So really the idea of thinking someone is making a meaningful judgement is strange. And of course, even if they really were, why care?
pixelatedindex 13 hours ago [-]
> I wasn't there but like were they really trying to be mean spirited with it?
Flip genders and most likely people say things like this. Somehow men are just expected to deal with this but if it’s directed at a woman it’s all bad.
dividefuel 12 hours ago [-]
Nowadays there's the risk that someone will record you, put it on social media, it'll go big, and suddenly you have a large amount of people weighing in on your personal life without having any context. If that happens, it's likely to trickle back to you directly from other people seeing it or whatever.
ryandrake 11 hours ago [-]
The answer to this is to simply not pay attention to social media. There could be a mob on Twitter/X right now flaming me, and I wouldn't know about it or care, because I simply don't go there.
10000truths 10 hours ago [-]
But members of your social circle (family members, friends, coworkers/bosses etc.) do pay attention, and when they do, they can make it your problem. You can ignore an Internet mob, but you can't ignore getting fired by your employer because they want to preserve optics.
ryandrake 6 hours ago [-]
I don't know--I think these stories of real-world consequences stemming from online rage are few and far between. It happens but it's rare. IMO the Online World is kind of not-real, and it's really hard to get so much visibility there to actually affect the real world.
throw2837624 8 hours ago [-]
This is one reason I've heard why some people still mask. It's mainly to have some privacy.
joquarky 4 hours ago [-]
This right here is why good leadership is fading. Who would want to be in the limelight?
beedeebeedee 13 hours ago [-]
I’ll jump in- why care? Because it sucks to have people taking pot shots at you. If it is just one, then sure, that isn’t so bad, but when you have a group doing it, it can become existential. You may not have seen this type of violence before but it is unsettling. A group of people can do low effort violence that feels fun and harmless to them (each taking a lazy swing at someone), but the cumulative effect can be beating up or killing someone. Getting yelled at, or having someone write threatening things to you, is not as bad as being punched or having a stone thrown, but it is still damaging to humans.
senderista 13 hours ago [-]
Not all hurtful and harmful behavior is violence and we need to maintain the distinction.
icantevenhold 13 hours ago [-]
Don’t want to be the semantics guy but hurtful and harmful behaviour is by definition violence.
valleyer 11 hours ago [-]
Evidently, you are in fact not "the semantics guy".
senderista 12 hours ago [-]
By whose definition?
beedeebeedee 8 hours ago [-]
The World Health Organization includes not just actual but also threatened physical force or power that results in injury, death or psychological harm
Subdivide8452 11 hours ago [-]
I noticed how easy it is to frame something online when you’re viewing it out of context. I’ve seen myself getting it wrong from time to time, because a title was misleading, and I don’t know why after 30 years of internet I’m not way more skeptical.
mahboi 14 hours ago [-]
Story also mentions SF Giants sports commentators making jokes about this
maerF0x0 6 hours ago [-]
Also known as "Mind your own damn business" (to those karens who judge assuming they know better than the people in the situation themselves)
jerf 13 hours ago [-]
"A really toxic part of online interactions is that it's very common for people to see a tiny snippet of another person's life and then project all of their own personal resentments onto them."
While also erasing everything that is real about that person's life, too.
I cringe whenever I hear someone angrily yell something like "You don't/can't know how I feel!", because unless the person making the accusation knows the accused very, very well, they could well be really stepping it. Nobody makes it through this life unscathed. Everybody loses people they love. Everybody gets kicked in the gut multiple times in life. Yes, everyone's personal life story, if you get specific enough, isn't exactly like someone else's. I won't claim to know exactly what it's like to be sexually abused, for instance. Wouldn't dream of it. Very serious issue. But I've had kicks to the gut that the one screaming that they may not have an exact analog for either.
I may not know how your exact gut punch feels. Maybe you've had noticeably more gut punches than I have. But everybody has had some sort of experience with them.
If one day a genie's magic spell made you see text pop ups above everyone's head with their traumas and abuses in life, and the emotional and physical burdens they're carrying today, you'd probably have a very hard time walking down the street.
Similarly, I really have a distaste for any variation of the "everyone's sheep" meme, especially when it's because they're not being active in some particular political way that the person flinging the meme around thinks they should be. If you could see those popups, maybe you'd understand why not everyone has a bunch of spare time to do whatever it is you think they should do to not be "sheep". Looking out on to a crowd of people and presuming they are "sheeple" reveals a lack of imagination and sympathy with people rather that the possession of a wise eye and strong understanding of the world.
everyone 14 hours ago [-]
Is there any benefit to social media? Just seems like a new form of cancer we have to deal with now along with everything else.
pipes 14 hours ago [-]
A place for those who would be marginalised by their own community, gay, religious apostates etc etc.
Communicating with relatives on the other side of the world.
Maintaining old friendships that would have died due to distance.
Somewhere to find like minded people.
Somewhere like hacker news (I count it as social media top) where I discovered great books, expanded my horizons and learnt that there were other ways at looking at the world.
Anyway, it's not all bad :)
santadays 14 hours ago [-]
There are social sharing functions and then there are algorithmic feedback loops that induce doomscrolling. Pretty sure it’s technically feasible to have one without the other.
The question to me is, with enough content and a powerful enough recommendation algorithm trained with enough eyeballs can short form videos be considered addictive in a clinical sense? If so what are the deleterious effects of the addiction? Should it be regulated?
I’m all for freedom, but we regulate drugs because we deem them bad for society.
TFNA 13 hours ago [-]
You are describing old-school social-network designs that began to be marginalized already before Covid, not modern social media. The latter would prefer that you not forge or maintain authentic connections with other human beings, but rather doomscroll through endless-scroll content.
Keeping in touch with relatives or friends in much of the world has long since moved to chat apps like WhatsApp instead of an open social network.
everyone 14 hours ago [-]
You can do most of that with IRC. There's a distinction imo between static webpages / IRC / forums, and modern "social media".
egeozcan 14 hours ago [-]
I don't use social media much myself, but I feel that this is going in the direction of that infamous dropbox comment.
readthenotes1 14 hours ago [-]
Homemade Dog videos. Not sure of anything else
ls612 6 hours ago [-]
You can’t have the internet and the first amendment and not have social media, and I’d suggest both of the above are beneficial.
IAmBroom 13 hours ago [-]
I live alone, and have friends throughout the US.
Social media kept me from attempting suicide during COVID. It helps me feel loved and connected.
Yeah, there are faults, but condemning it wholeheartedly is like suggesting we should abolish ICE cars immediately.
And suggesting we abandon it as a comment on a social media platform is ironically self-unaware.
api 12 hours ago [-]
I always try to be specific and condemn addiction engineering.
Social media before algorithmic attention hacking wasn’t nearly as bad, might have been a net good.
The first thing the algorithm destroyed was the “social” part of social media. Then it set about destroying society and kids attention spans.
gambiting 14 hours ago [-]
I think it's not even that there's a benefit to it, it's that a lot of traditional communities that had their own forums are now exclusively on Facebook groups. I'm in several groups for mountain biking, for cars, for 3D printing, and those communities just don't exist anywhere else online other than small pockets with very little activity. Discord is the other one that has captured a bunch, but it's mostly centered around gaming, memes and tech.
altairprime 12 hours ago [-]
This is really toxic offline, too.
neilv 13 hours ago [-]
That seems to be a big part of it.
There's a widespread problem of anti-intellectualism and acting-out, including, in the US, by both right and left. Most of the learning feedback to that -- pointing out to people when they might be missing something or acting unfairly -- is ignored, except to attack those who point it out.
AFAICT, for various reasons, they're proud of being warriors for their beliefs, and anyone who sounds like they're saying anything differently is the enemy, and the only thing you do with an enemy is score points against them or hurt them, while trying not to concede anything that the enemy would claim as points or hurt you. It's a toxic recipe for society.
Coincidentally, recently I've decided even Fedi isn't safe from that (it's just different and fewer people doing ideological bully thinking), and have resigned myself that issues of substance can't be discussed there either. Maybe the only safe thing to post is cat pictures.
I think it's much less a problem with HN. Of course, over time you realize certain positions get downvotes that aren't flattering to the people doing it, and some annoying commenting behaviors, and not always all the integrity we'd like to see, which are relatively mild by social media standards. However, I'm also seeing occasional random individual actor extreme toxicity problems with HN. And I'm anticipating some related but different kind of problems from how AI-powered tools will be easily used with the corpus/firehose to play toxic games.
nextaccountic 13 hours ago [-]
> There's a widespread problem of anti-intellectualism and acting-out, including, in the US, by both right and left.
As of 2026, it's disingenuous to both sides this issue, at least in the US
hefner1456 14 hours ago [-]
If it was the other way around they would be saying what a hero he is lol.
Kinda off topic, but as a single Father I cant help but notice how much less of a support system Fathers get. When shit hits the fan its always people assuming the worst. A Fathers major support system is their Wives and Family. Good for him for having such a great Woman by his side... Im not complaining, just an observation
tegiddrone 14 hours ago [-]
Yeah, it is complicated because we do live in a very misogynistic civilization with patriarchal privileges. It’s just often difficult not to overcompensate to counterbalance and resist these circumstances. Treat people as individuals instead of the archetypes.
As author wrote: we need to practice the benefit of the doubt. Or I like the “trust but verify” pattern
tsol 13 hours ago [-]
I'd argue making women do more labor by forcing them to write articles justifying their marriage is misogynistic as well. Its just in that case people see it as acceptable because they think it's fighting the patriarchy. But really the patriarchy is not disappearing because of this comments, it's just insulting a random woman based on nothing of substance. If someone tells a women to wear more clothing to protect herself from abuse that's considered sexist, I don't see how this is different. Everyone thinks it's for the best
fyredge 2 hours ago [-]
I'd also argue that misogyny had mutated into this implicit assumption where every woman is silently oppressed by the men in their lives. I find it ironically misogynistic that a woman is assumed to have no agency in their life and we have to police the men instead.
anon291 13 hours ago [-]
We consider it 'misogynistic' because women have more difficulty engaging in certain pursuits (career and enterprise) while more easy engaging in others (child-rearing, family life). It's because of our own bias that career and enterprise is worth more than family life that we say the world as a whole is 'misogynistic' instead of the truth, which is that some areas of life, it's easier to be a woman and in others a man.
pixelatedindex 13 hours ago [-]
> If it was the other way around they would be saying what a hero he is lol.
I’m not so sure, I’m convinced people would not bat an eye. Or at least I don’t expect any positive compliments, only neutral or negative.
hefner1456 5 hours ago [-]
That actually sounds more like it. It probably would have went unnoticed.
Article is about the impact of social media pile-ons (and has been getting praise within tech) so it is within scope for HN.
dualvariable 14 hours ago [-]
I started to notice a bit over a decade ago (about the same time as Cersei's walk of shame on GoT) that millennials as a generation were piling into naming and shaming people publicly as blindly appropriate punishment, without any consideration of what could go wrong and considering it their right and entitlement to do that. Any time a public figure gets into any kind of trouble, people demand to know all the details so they can satisfy their need to express outrage. It really is not healthy. Even if another person who was harmed comes out to express that they are satisfied with the outcome and the process that was followed, the crowd still wants to know all the details so they can feel angry.
pjc50 13 hours ago [-]
I'm not sure this is unique to that generation. Tabloids have always been like that. It's just been "democratized" so anyone can start it.
Also I note that a lot of "legacy" pretexts for shaming are off the table. It's not done to shame people simply for being gay; that's now acceptable even in Conservative circles. So perhaps the total shame has just been redistributed, somewhat arbitrarily.
(And another thing: this has evolved shame resistant politicians just like antibiotic overuse evolved MRSA)
randycupertino 13 hours ago [-]
I think it's their frustration of other things they can't control - climate change, K-shaped economy, PFAS in everything, no healthcare, 7% and rising mortgages for $1.5 million 1000 sq ft built in 1965 shitboxes, corruption by politicians, suppressed elections, pedophile rings operating carte blanche while law enforcement casts a blind eye, presidential pardons for sale to the rich, clawbacks of longstanding LGBTQ and women's rights... culture wars against trans people to distract from class inequality.... and on and on.
Well, I can't make much progress on or change those things so let me distract myself checking out this shitbird who won't help his wife or hold the baby while she gets some nachos. I can be outraged at him because it's small and tangible compared to being outraged at structural inequality of our current economic reality or the looming climate crisis.
dualvariable 13 hours ago [-]
I can see where it comes from, but it is still highly dysfunctional, and a lot of millennials will use those arguments to defend that behavior.
I think it needs to be called out as being bad, and deconstructed properly, and that outrage needs to get redirected back onto the structural issues.
Which is another argument--that when people behave badly because of structural issues, that isn't an excuse.
shigawire 13 hours ago [-]
I agree. If you feel previous social systems of justice and fairness have eroded, the only outlet that seems reasonable is "democratic" mob action.
anon291 13 hours ago [-]
for our parents generation, mortgage rates were 10%+
dualvariable 13 hours ago [-]
And the mean house sale price was under $96k (which is still under $250k, adjusted for inflation).
From roughly 1953 to 2000, the inflation-adjusted cost of the mean house was around $200k-$250k in today's dollars. Now it has nearly doubled, and mortgage rates are on the rise and headed back towards 10%.
Normally the comments on that video are something I could laugh along with, but reading them after the article is... sobering.
joe_the_user 13 hours ago [-]
The interesting way is the way the pinned post primes people to attack without it being obvious. Basically, they use assumptive language - "is this just how it's always been. Modern marriage or traditional marriage?" assumes that this two minute clip shows this couple's entire relationship.
And that kind of language to "get discussion going" is well know to those aiming for views.
Quothling 14 hours ago [-]
I'm Danish, but how is this terrible? I should show these people a video of my twins sleeping in a snow covered trolley outside the bar I was having a beer and a board game by the window at.
kulahan 12 hours ago [-]
Danes being willing to leave their kids unattended outside, as good as it may be in practice, is a horrifying idea to people in the US at least, and is liable to get Child Protection Services called on you. Different culture.
dlcarrier 9 hours ago [-]
In the US, CPS will go after you, even if you're just doing what's normal in our culture, as long as one single person doesn't like it.
Someone in my area was in her apartment doing dishes while her kid was playing in the playground in the apartment complex's common area in front of the unit. (https://fox40.com/news/local-news/sacramento-mother-faces-ch...) Someone called CPS and complained that she was inside, while her kid was outside. Even though most anyone would agree it was a nuisance call, they still charged her and opened a case, telling her that if her child is ever out of her direct sight, she'll be violation of the rule they just made up.
Nothing stops CPS from making up their own rules. There's even an effort to specify in each states' laws that parents letting children roam free isn't legally endangerment, but despite having such language in their laws, a mom was recently prosecuted in Virginia, for similarly letting her child roam within a gated common area. (https://www.cbsnews.com/news/virginia-mom-child-abuse-convic...)
Agreed. I grew up living for the weekends. I’d wake up, crush some cereal while watching cartoons, and then I’d run out the door to find my friends. I’d usually be home by dark. Or I’d call and tell my mom I was sleeping over at a friend’s house and I’d be back in the morning. She might literally not see me for 30+ hours even when I was in elementary school.
We’d spend our time playing spies and hiding in the bushes watching neighbors do whatever, or looking for crawfish in the creek, or just breaking sticks on trees in the woods lol.
Wistar 14 hours ago [-]
When I first moved to Denmark, I marveled at the babies in unattended carriages parked outside the grocery stores.
senderista 13 hours ago [-]
You totally should do that, as long as you can't be doxxed. I would love to see the reactions from self-righteous Americans.
pantulis 14 hours ago [-]
The only terrible thing is the food they're having.
throw93038383 14 hours ago [-]
[flagged]
heikkilevanto 13 hours ago [-]
Living in Copenhagen, I do not recognize that. I live in a city apartment on Vesterbro. We have maybe a hundred bikes parked in the backyard, nobody I know brings his bike home for the night, unless it is a really fancy racing bike. But yes, I do lock my bike when ever I really away from it.
Rzor 15 hours ago [-]
Those comments are pure vitriol juice, my god, and they just keep coming from all angles as to why that dude is an absolutely piece of shit on very little data. Incredible stuff, and a good lesson right there.
mahboi 14 hours ago [-]
Probably from unmarried people anyway
figassis 15 hours ago [-]
That this is something that has to be told to adults is the saddest part of humanity. No one has grown up.
rigrassm 12 hours ago [-]
> That this is something that has to be told to adults is the saddest part of humanity. No one has grown up.
It's worse, grown ass adults who taught me that this kind of reaction is wrong growing up are the same ones I see behaving this way now.
biglyburrito 15 hours ago [-]
And she spells it out really well. But yeah.
cindyllm 13 hours ago [-]
[dead]
IAmBroom 13 hours ago [-]
People are imperfect.
swat535 11 hours ago [-]
I'm not sure that we can brush away toxic behavior of people and social media as a simple "imperfection".
These can cause serious damage to the lives of ordinary people.
dlcarrier 10 hours ago [-]
I had a co-worker who's dad is paraplegic, and they had a family van with hand controls, so that his dad could drive it. His dad was a big guy and his mom was tiny, but she could load and unload the wheelchair without a problem. My co-worker said that sometimes people would stare when his mom was pumping gas, while his dad sat in the drivers seat doing nothing. He said they had a bit of a routine where his mom would start washing the windows and his dad would point out spots she missed.
They totally did it to entertain themselves, but I'm sure it got a few people riled up thinking that the dad was a jerk.
didgetmaster 14 hours ago [-]
Almost anyone can be seen as a hero or a zero if the right 15 second clip is captured. We love it when our best moments hit social media, but everyone also piles on when we are caught at our worst (or what appears to be bad, even if it not).
It is amazing how many haters emerge like in this case, when there is so much more to the story.
giarc 14 hours ago [-]
I was thinking of this recently. I "dogsit" for many families and had one recently that wasn't great on leash. She would do this thing where she would lay down and try to eat something off the ground (sticks, garbage, animal/dog poop, dead mice, dead birds... whatever she could find). Much of it would likely make her sick and therefore I would have to quickly pull on the leash to prevent her from eating some random thing she found. Being an 80lbs dog, I had to tug quite hard to quickly get her away from whatever she had found. If someone saw me in that moment, they'd probably think I was a terrible dog owner. Without the context that I was actually trying to prevent harm, someone could take a video, post online with the caption "Identify this dog abuser!" and ruin my reputation.
iJohnDoe 10 hours ago [-]
Remember these types of videos happened every day and they would even show up on the news. People would lose their jobs over baseless videos.
I really hoped all that stopped and the fun has worn off.
joe_the_user 14 hours ago [-]
The incredible thing is the husband came in for bashing not plausibly based on his actions in the video but based on mutating narrative.
Go from "X great, Y OK" to "X great, Y terrible".
lukehandcool 15 hours ago [-]
Everyone loves to hate right away when they see something like this. It's a good practice to try to make up a story that gives an alternate, less vilifying explanation to what you're seeing. This is a great response from Erika. Thanks for sharing.
throw93038383 14 hours ago [-]
[flagged]
dsabanin 10 hours ago [-]
This got me:
> When I’ve cried reading the comments and the social media “explanations” of our marriage. The man people have been attacking was the one who consoled me. While strangers described how little he must care about me, he was helping me through the hurt their words have caused.
satvikpendem 14 hours ago [-]
Quite a common thing to see online where strangers judge relationships off some small slice. You see it on reddit and relationship subs all the time.
0xDEAFBEAD 8 hours ago [-]
Reddit is kind of a cult. "Ditch your loved ones so you can spend more time on reddit telling people to ditch their loved ones."
expedition32 14 hours ago [-]
The internet feels like one those shitty religious villages were everyone is gossiping.
pjc50 13 hours ago [-]
That's just humans; now there's a lot more of us and we have advanced gossip technology.
14 hours ago [-]
dagorenouf 14 hours ago [-]
It’s making me sad that this article needed to exist in the first place. Just leave people alone.
abnry 14 hours ago [-]
That man has found a treasure of a woman!
nadermx 13 hours ago [-]
This is the main takeaway from all this.
UberFly 12 hours ago [-]
This should be required reading before you get your internet drivers license.
Rzor 14 hours ago [-]
David Foster Wallace's This is Water speech more relevant than ever.
Wistar 14 hours ago [-]
Link to transcript and audio of the This Is Water commencement speech:
You never know what others are going through, or what is happening in a relationship between two people, even when you think you’re close to them. So the online masses making these judgements based on a short clip is kinda insane although it doesn’t surprise me.
vjvjvjvjghv 13 hours ago [-]
The real scandal is the prices on the menu she posted.
jcul 8 hours ago [-]
I can confirm the ergobaby is great.
Though the memory of owning one and knowing about different brands of baby carriers feels like it belongs to another lifetime now.
criddell 14 hours ago [-]
She’s a great writer.
A lot of people owe this family an apology. Here’s a sampling of some of the vile comments left on Reddit.
Wow, Reddit is horrible. Atrocious behavior. Leave your brains in the anteroom!
> Whoever sees this and it reminds them of their current relationship, DUMP HIM
> you can tell by the body language, lack of initiative, and lack of joy and welcome-ness for his woman and baby to be back, everything you need to know.
> There is a VERY good chance that when he realizes he went viral for being the *Poster Manchild* of taking your spouse for granted, of choosing to act like a parasitic blob
Modern Reddit provides a simulacrum of commentary. There are posts and people discusing these posts, but nobody understands or wants to know anything about the underlying topic. The lack of comprehension is crucial to the community.
tsol 12 hours ago [-]
Its unfortunate because it's not only one of the things that makes social media toxic, but it also makes it less and less like reality. Which in turn pushes away people who have more "normal" views, thereby making the community even more extreme over time. Ask a random person in the street and they might say they think he should help her, but they wouldn't come up with these detailed narratives about abuse and manipulation. That kind of reaction is characteristic of social media and the more I see it the less I want to spend time online with those kinds of people
dividefuel 12 hours ago [-]
The other end feeds into itself too. Someone who posts something like that also is over-exposed to content enforcing that narrative. When you see your 50th video of the day of (e.g.) a man behaving in a way you don't like, you eventually conclude that men are all bad, and your reactions begin to become more and more pronounced. You're not reacting to that man, you're reacting to every man!
shakow 13 hours ago [-]
> and lack of joy and welcome-ness for his woman and baby to be back
Damn, do these people really jump out of joy whenever their SO, parent, child, friend, or whoever comes back after a 10' chore?
Life is not a movie, “coming back” is a dozen-times-of-day occurrence, no one will cheer you back from the toilets.
Neywiny 10 hours ago [-]
I think it's also important to remember that these people are karma farming. When you can get 5k points for "man bad", who wouldn't?
Doubly reminded of that as I'm watching a DEFCON talk where he cites fake Internet points as a driving motivator. Which is my feeling too but yeah idk the whole thing is missing that "we're real people" thing.
Tiberium 14 hours ago [-]
[flagged]
jryle70 13 hours ago [-]
In a way, this comment precisely demonstrates the kind of vitriol responses that the article talks about -- witch hunt without evidence, going with the trend, herd mentality.
gfody 12 hours ago [-]
[flagged]
macintux 14 hours ago [-]
Isn't this story pretty much all about jumping to conclusions and pissing on people who you don't know?
coherentpony 14 hours ago [-]
I read it and didn’t get that impression.
Perhaps you could endow your claim with some evidence.
grvdrm 14 hours ago [-]
Amused by a claim about writing composition that uses “clearly mostly” back to back.
Planktonne 14 hours ago [-]
That's a legitimate usage of both words.
RugnirViking 13 hours ago [-]
there are higher levels of writing than "grammatically correct"...
we don't dismiss claims of poorly written code with "but it compiles!"
Wistar 14 hours ago [-]
Hmm. Pangram AI detection says the piece is “100% human written.”
randallsquared 13 hours ago [-]
Really? A comment in another thread says Pangram says it's 100% AI. I just checked with the free plan, and it told me 29% AI. What I'm learning here is that Pangram may not be a reliable checker.
Thing is, I also twigged it as heavily LLM written when I read it, so. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
senderista 13 hours ago [-]
I got the vibe that maybe an LLM was used for editing but the stench wasn't overwhelming.
Wistar 13 hours ago [-]
I checked again with a longer sample—the first eight paragraphs—and, this time, Pangram said 61% human. Hmm. I think your twigging may be more accurate.
godwinson__4-8 14 hours ago [-]
Based on what?
mindslight 14 hours ago [-]
Even if so, this would seem to be a positive use of LLMs. Something traumatic happened, and she wants to put her perspective into the public dialog rather than continuing to be a passive subject of the social media industry's two minute hate. I know in such a position I myself would be at a loss for words, with the perfect being the enemy of the good enough.
physicalecon 14 hours ago [-]
[dead]
jweir 11 hours ago [-]
Universal context - or uni-context is an idea that could use some more attention.
The idea is universally we can all relate to the negative, but the good is rarely universal,
but often local.
This is what drives social media or media in general to tend negative.
All other things aside, 20 dollars for a can of beer!?
HumblyTossed 13 hours ago [-]
If you have reasons to want to limit how much most people drink at your venue, this would be a good way to do it.
shigawire 13 hours ago [-]
More like a captive audience of people who have self selected for having disposable income that they don't mind being parted from.
olelele 12 hours ago [-]
This exorbitant price is actually for your own good!
hliyan 14 hours ago [-]
Another important story hiding in there:
> Six weeks before my daughter was born, my employer of 13 years laid off my entire division. Ramses had just put up the down payment on a bigger home for our growing family. My unemployment meant he was facing the mortgage payments and managing a remodel on his own, while we prepared to welcome another child.
em-bee 9 hours ago [-]
i thought that too, but that's not really a story, that's just normal for the US. in europe (most of the EU i am sure) and china and probably elsewhere it's illegal to lay someone off while they are pregnant. (exceptions exist, and if they apply insurance works also for the unemployed)
throw93038383 14 hours ago [-]
[flagged]
karpovv-boris 14 hours ago [-]
Why someone even should explain yourself in this situation? It shows that something is broken in the society.
hmokiguess 14 hours ago [-]
Part of being grounded and self aware is realizing you are not your thoughts and not everything you believe is true.
The brain does what it does in an attempt to help you, but not often it hits the mark, sometimes it takes a bit of a reminder to pause and unpack things more carefully.
brandonmenc 14 hours ago [-]
And yet, tons of comments on Threads from women saying she's been gaslit or even that the husband must have threatened her with violence and forced her to write this.
You can't win with these people.
vlyan 13 hours ago [-]
normal people -- employed, in a relationship, with chores and hobbies to occupy their free time -- simply do not participate in the gender war on the Internet. most are blissfully unaware that it's even happening. the womanosphere is a mirror image of its critically panned counterpart -- a refuge for the unhappy and/or mentally ill, an obnoxiously loud minority.
IAmBroom 13 hours ago [-]
I guarantee you that every woman on Earth is aware of mistreatment due to her gender. Sexism is not a fantasy created online, as you assert.
vlyan 11 hours ago [-]
you mean like having her family harassed by terminally online femcels over the deranged assumptions they'd made from a 10-second clip?
cpursley 11 hours ago [-]
And every man as well (all the usual stereotypes, slurs, expectations non-stop), but men don’t complain, shrug, and carry on with our duties and hope she doesn’t get board and take half or more.
dividefuel 12 hours ago [-]
The conclusion was made from a 30s clip, and no amount of evidence can overturn that. New theories will be created to support the original conclusion to avoid any amount of critical self-reflection.
14 hours ago [-]
_3u10 14 hours ago [-]
It’s great to see her setting a role model for others.
Henchman21 9 hours ago [-]
What fresh hell is this? What is wrong with us?
Vinnl 10 hours ago [-]
> My employer provided medical coverage would lapse before my daughter’s birth. I was at risk of not have medical insurance for the birth of our daughter
...
andrepd 14 hours ago [-]
Algorithmic social media amplifies and promotes our basest, vilest impulses. Crowds were always worse than people, but now these "technologies" put that into turbo-overdrive, 5 billion people at a time, pushed and prodded by the engagement-maxxing machine. I don't see a bright future if we don't get a hand on this, and I don't see us getting a hand on this.
mahboi 14 hours ago [-]
Hopefully AI slop kills it
bad_haircut72 14 hours ago [-]
Another side to the story is that I wonder how many of the reddit/tiktok posts pouring gasoline on the discourse were LLMs.
shermantanktop 14 hours ago [-]
If only we truly knew how much divisive online content was generated from geopolitical adversaries…LLM or not.
jongjong 8 hours ago [-]
There will always be idiots who see a 10 second video of someone and think that it gives them enough info to fully understand the subjects' values and motivations but I think most people understand that a meme is not reality.
It's like how some people can come across as very 'nice' and helpful superficially but really it's all virtue signalling and they're actually serial backstabbers; awful, unreliable, untrustworthy people. I met many people like this so I know not to judge a book by its cover.
0xbadcafebee 8 hours ago [-]
Another reason social media is a social illness. They never should have been turned into entertainment for strangers (nor sent vile hateful messages). They were just a family at a ball game.
ozlikethewizard 14 hours ago [-]
[flagged]
alendit 14 hours ago [-]
What I notice quite often is a sort of "LLM derangement syndrome" where people start flagging the most innocuous figures of speech and speech pattern as "clearly LLM".
Quite ironic when we are talking about an article which argues for extending the benefit of the doubt.
mapt 13 hours ago [-]
These patterns aren't somehow alien to human speech. It's the quantity. In ChatGPT (and I think it must be ChatGPT specifically) the default writing voice tries for dramatic and profound by dramatically overusing these figures of speech, chaining them together one after another. But they're things most writers use occasionally, one paragraph in ten or twenty. If you're giving a TED Talk or some other elaborate, melodramatic persuasive public speaking role, you might use them one paragraph in four. ChatGPT uses them every other paragraph at least, sometimes multiple times in the same paragraph, so something like a negation comparator or a triplet is present in sentence after fatiguing sentence.
It's trained on the speech of online commenters like us; That's where it's getting these. I'm not gonna change just because Timmy the Zoomer has been with his LLM girlfriend for the past three years and occasionally I remind him of her. I'm not going to deliberately code switch into somebody who doesn't open a new tab to Google things as he talks about them. And you can take my bullet point lists from my cold, dead hands.
16bitvoid 13 hours ago [-]
I thought the piece sounded like AI as well, so I ran it through Pangram, which reports it as 100% AI. Considering Pangram's extremely low false positive rate, I'm inclined to believe this was AI written.
VogonPoetry 10 hours ago [-]
Didn't have the same feel about the piece. But based on the parent comment, decided to also test it, using Pangram free "credits". For me it reported that only sections of it (30%) have been "touched" by an LLM. There is 60% of human written text.
Pangram does not report this as 100% LLM generated. Why do I use the word "touched" - because there are some specific details that must have come from some existing text and are not elsewhere.
How did I do the check? Please do check my results! I copied just the authored prose from the page, carefully removing any comments and site text that got mixed in. I did not have it analyze the "URL".
In looking at the details, a large part of the story is flagged as all human generated.
I've personally used LLMs when I've been very upset. I used it to rewrite / edit my rant into something with a more balanced tone. The modified text got what I wanted, my original rant would almost certainly not have.
So I do think this was a thought out piece that was largely written by a human who used an LLM as an "editor" to polish the writing. Someone took time to think about this and write it.
rebolek 13 hours ago [-]
And? That doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Some people say that AI is glorified spellchecker and then they complain when it’s used like a glorified spellchecker.
jvanderbot 13 hours ago [-]
Thing is, it might be or it might not be. At some point you have to realize that some people need wheelchairs to move, some people need glasses to see, and some people need LLMs to write.
IMHO It's when you see someone who is paid to write/think using LLMs that you might make a value judgement.
I once knew a girl who wore prescription-free glasses b/c it made her feel smarter so she'd study longer. Not kidding. I made a value judgement about that. But she got the studying done. There's been other more prevalent cases of that on socials.
It might be worth letting some people write in any way they can.
nfw2 13 hours ago [-]
I think we are approaching the point where collaboration with ai is going to be so ubiquitous that it becomes an unreasonable thing to criticize on its face.
Even before reading, I would assume a non-professional writer would lean on ai to try to figure out what points she wanted to hit and how to phrase things. The cost right now for that is the writing can be somewhat bland, but sometimes that isn't a big problem. Haven't we all seen enough incoherent ai slop to understand the value of editorial oversight by now?
I am working on a libretto in my free time, a hobby I've had for 15 years. Lyrics that would previously take me a week often take an evening. Nearly every suggested stanza and bar is rewritten by me still, but these models can be very helpful in explore the structure of beats to hit, imagery that may or may not land, rhyme and phonetic space etc. Maybe it's ai psychosis or cope but I think my current project is a leap beyond my last two plays. Isn't that what matters for creative expression at the end of the day?
tomhow 13 hours ago [-]
Plaease don't spoil threads with comments like this. The writing doesn't come up as LLM-authored according to the tools we use (polished, perhaps, but not generated).
Who cares? She isn't a public figure, and she never asked to be. She has some thoughts she wants to put out there after going viral due to nothing she did.
pixelatedindex 14 hours ago [-]
Everything is LLM if you want it to be
derpyzza 13 hours ago [-]
i suspect in some time people might begin to flag every bit of text they see online as "LLM sounding", even if it's very clearly not
gib444 12 hours ago [-]
Yup. The real risk with AI is not that something could be fake, rather that nothing can be trusted to be true
TacticalCoder 10 hours ago [-]
I felt a great disturbance in Wokism, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.
This is a great "behind the scenes" style look at the actual people behind a viral clip. Luckily they have an extremely strong relationship to help soften the blows here, I'm not sure an average (not even bad!) relationship could come out of something like this unscathed.
There's something feral in us that comes out from time to time, especially online from the safety of our screens. I found the announcers within the range of good fun but when it gets to people reaching out to break up their marriage or telling him to kill himself it becomes really sobering.
I think this is part of what people are calling the lonlieness epidemic - despite thousands of screaming voices the whole thing makes me feel hollow and hopeless.
Snap judgements are human and inevitable, but acting on them isn't.
I'm agreeing with you!
a lot better than folks who love pointing out "AIisms" and Pangram scores would have you believe. for starters just being a wife of nine years and a mother suggests at least a few decades of experience using language - that's already enough to be a better "writer" than a lot of people trying harder without the experience.
Get used to it. I don't think we're far from every bit of prose online, being at least edited, if not authored, by AI.
If people don't want to read AI, then they won't be reading anything but literary classics.
I'm not saying I find the prospect thrilling; just that it's inevitable.
As for the topic, projecting values, and life stories onto people from single data points, is a favorite sport of just about anyone. We often see people on this very forum, praising or attacking others as a person, and assigning motives; based on only a single comment. One habit that I've developed, is if someone posts something either in support or in opposition to one of my posts, I look them up, and try to find out as much as possible about them, before responding. It often fails, because people don't want others to know about them, but I suspect that it succeeds, a lot more than people might think.
Zero chance of that happening anytime soon. I'm sure a lot of people have adopted it, and more will follow, but there are still plenty of us who enjoy writing and have no desire to let AI tools take that away from us.
> I'm not saying I find the prospect thrilling; just that it's inevitable.
I see no reason why this should be the case. All you have to do is keep writing and it's suddenly not inevitable.
I have found that in most cases you can simply ask people about their motives. Most often than not those motives and intentions are very different from your prior.
It’s not easy but developing a habit of "blank slating" is quite useful for inner peace.
It's like learning to play an instrument, and then using AI to make you sound better. Why bother to learn at all then??
I get I may be very much in the minority here, but I still hate it.
you are not the minority, yours is the prevailing attitude on HN (and also the policy - AI-assisted writing is not welcome here) calling out AI isms and smells while ignoring the substance has become sport and an ugly look (IMO) especially with Pangram and sites like (https://www.salahadawi.com/hacker-news-ai-detector) automatically scanning everything that hits the frontpage (using the older/buggier version of Pangram no less)
I don't think that literary editors are doing a particularly good job, these days. That may be because they've all been fired.
LLMs can do a decent job of editing, but it imparts a "sameness" to the writing.
I mean having a producer cut multiple takes or remove errors is not exactly new. And I think it exactly proves why people use AI. They could have spent a lot more time getting a piece to where they want it (and they often know where they want it) but why not get there faster. Intelligence and speed are related.
One very common pattern I saw is that the conclusion is always that the dad is useless. Any provided facts are downplayed. Any omitted facts are imagined in the most negative light possible. And to be fair, there really are LOTS of cases where the dad is useless. The issue is more that posts needed to contain a mountain of evidence to return a neutral ground where the dad is no longer seen as a piece of garbage, rather than starting from neutral ground.
I feel for moms, who in addition to giving birth and having their lives upended to raise a baby, are now told that not only are most men garbage, but their man is garbage too. I feel for the dads, who even if they work hard are told how useless they are, and have to combat a stream of negativity fed to their spouse. It's a divisive wedge thrown into a new family, one that social media algorithms are only happy to encourage for engagement.
When I see instances like the one in this topic, I can see how the default narrative has been applied here. The radio announcers surely aren't aware of the storm they're creating, but it suddenly thrusts two average people into the social media spotlight, where people are happy to assume any missing details to fit their narrative. Everyone is going to apply the default story without taking any time to consider the possibility of other context.
EDIT TO ADD: I know there are manosphere spaces that are toxic too. As a man I've had no problem avoiding them, so this is one of my first extended exposures to this type of content, which is why it stuck with me. Probably also because I felt personally unwelcome as a dad.
Foreign adversaries, political extremist groups and so on are all clawing away at every facet of society that can contribute to training people to be and do what they want. For all of our information, language and intellect, those strengths are just an open vulnerability if they aren't protected.
You have to train yourself sufficiently on the grounded basics of reality, the truth and the nature so that when adversarial training against you and others strikes you can be wise enough to push back like this. You have to be able to surround yourself with people who disagree and stand your ground, because they're all being pumped with garbage from everywhere and don't know any better.
It is one of Russia, China, Cuba's and even Iran's way of attacking the US at a distance by funding these groups and amplifying the dumbest stuff you can imagine until these minority voices reach majority saturation in some of the information spaces where they can fester. Taking over education, journalism, social media and so on.
If the idea of the open society is going to survive into the next century, we're either going to need AI to ground society if we can prevent AI from becoming too centralized, or we're going to need to rapidly change education to teach people to think even if the reason we haven't been doing so up to this point is that it fragments society too much. If the alternative is a fragmentation that our enemies control, then a new enlightenment may be the better way.
It's the USA eating itself and trying to attack Europe, if anything. It's American fascist billionaires who own, buy, and steer these social networks.
This is an unconventional position. What's your rationale?
The Soviets gave the Germans a free hand to begin the war by splitting Poland via the Molotov pact. Without that agreement, and without the preceding years of Soviet resource shipments and technical exchanges, it is unclear if the European war would have happened.
The US and Germany were both helping fight back against the communists in China and Spain. Everyone was basically on board with being against the communists, they just weren't on board with the extremes to which Japan and Germany were going. Japan was passing laws to suppress Marxist revolution in their country in the 1920s and Germany went to many extremes, routing out communists anywhere.
In Germany you even saw education being changed to fortify new students as anti-communist, because preventing communist revolution from taking over Germany was existential for them. The teachers knew what they were teaching, but they were afraid enough of communism that it seemed a reasonable defensive mechanism. There had already been examples of communist revolution upending countries, so it wasn't as if it was a fake threat or concern.
It was very real, and people who dismiss the pacts signed between Japan, Germany and Italy to cautify the fact that they explicitly saw communism as a threat, do so in ignorance. It's often argued that it was some kind of fake political front to justify their actions, but on close inspection that seems to absolutely not be the case. These people legitimately believed communism was an existential threat.
This is further evidenced in the years after WW2, where there were many more communist conflicts in other countries. Korea, Vietnam, Cuba, Cambodia, etc. If you put yourself in their shoes, simply imagining being any of these countries, would it be unreasonable to feel an existential threat? No. Just, flat out, logically, no.
So why did they end up invading all these other countries? What was that all about?
The communists love to control the resources and in terms of a total global communist revolution, you've heard things like domino theory and you could understand it in numerous ways. One is that, if you expand to control a tipping point of resources, then you can leverage those resources to dominate the rest of the world and enforce your revolution.
Japan and Germany wanted to route out communism in other countries, but they also wanted to leverage the resources. Germany working with Russia to take Poland was largely strategic, not a sign of actual good faith towards Russia. Both Japan and Germany explicitly intended as their end goal, to conquer Russia and destroy Comintern.
This is part of why Stalin dismantled the Comintern, to deflate Japanese and Germany aims while simultaneously fostering military support from the allies.
Another critical point to support my argument, is that even if you don't think communism was the primary issue, why the heck would Japan and Germany join forces, causing it to become a World War? You could certainly argue that it doesn't become a World War until that happens. After all, people often make the mistake of saying the war didn't even start until something random in Europe happened and they can never ever convincingly explain how that caused the war to spin out of control. It makes no sense, because it is BS.
The war was already raging in the Pacific long before anything began in Europe. So why were the things in the Pacific happening? The thing that unifies both of these conflicts is communism.
People often deflect and just say oh Hitler was a racist and it was just this and that. They never answer the question: so what about Japan?
If they were fascist, what is a fascist? Many things, but most fundamentally they are a reaction to the communist threat. Communism is underpinned by a philosophy that all action is social action, so every person must be an activist. This puts society out of order rapidly, because anyone not involved gets overrun if it gains traction.
So fascists develop psychological counter-strategies to communism. That's why the Nazi flag was red. That's why they emphasize race instead of class, to unify people rather than divide them. That's why they uplift beautiful art and collected precious artifacts that communists hate and try to destroy. Everything was an intentional counter-strategy to communist revolution. It's easy to look back on it and say it looks insane, because it is and it is patterned as the inverse of communist revolution which is also itself insane. They wanted to immunize their country as a cultural powerhouse to fend off communism for all time.
And if the revolution was going to take over sufficient resources to steamroll other countries, then Japan and Germany were reasoning that they would need to expand to counter it.
Comintern wanting total global communism was logically inept and wrong for them to do. Germany and Japan going nuts and killing a ton of people was wrong for them to do.
It wouldn't have happened if the communists had not created a global existential threat. Remember too, this is before the internet, before pervasive communications and such. People still largely got their news from word of mouth, newspapers and radio so I'm sure there was plenty of miscalculation to go around, but the slow verifiable things were undeniable and that's what they were reacting to.
The communists have been threatening to start World War 3 and that is also what the Trump administration is reacting to today. Between Cuba, Venezuela and Iran, both Russia and China have lost essential partners in rapid succession. We've been helping Ukraine target Russian oil infrastructure which has dual purpose, since it both weakens Russia and also demonstrates to China that not only is their Venezuelan and Iranian oil not secure, but not even the oil they get from Russia is reliable. China built the largest strategic oil reserve in the world which is something like double the rest of the entire world combined and they were going to use it to sanction proof themselves in the case of engaging with Taiwan. Now they are drawing it down, which reduces the chance of WW3.
The man that bought one of the most important social networks and has substantially changed its algorithm is nearly openly a nazi. It's not just the sieg hail the day of the presidential swear-in, it's everything he does to the world and the USA. And so do all the others.
> So you get the rude approach.
You're digging your own grave. Your president is handing over your empire piecewise to your adversaries for a fistful of gold. You must understand this: the only thing worse than communism, is fascism, because it's just corruption as a form of government.
for the definition what a nazi is, the movie "american history x" - that imo shows exactly what a nazi is: the main character is not german and not even in germany, but shows the nazi-mindset exactly! He glorifies hitler's thinking about others, fighting for the wrong idealogy for "own" country. ... Thats making a nazi. Neglection/sympathy for holocaust, supremacy thinking, .., too.
As I was told, the word nazi was invented by U.S. for the hitler and his followers so its a short word for national socialists (the party, its memembers and sympathisants) the US was fighting ("name your enemy"). Your question is about/implies nazi as "an individual person with a special characteristic", which makes that someone a nazi.
Its a "nation first + everything for the nation" thinking. For me a nazi is someone who glorifies the nazi time, saying it was all well done then, wanting those times back - like some elderly tend to say "earlier, everything was better". They dream of powerfull country with a straight people-body. Nazi think in races. And always say others are guilty for one's own failure, argument with "they" and "us" when they talk about own country/others.
So basically, patriotism, skinheads and far right are subsets of "nazi", but not full nazi :)
And may be, if one wants to be a REAL full nazi, its a must to shave the head and to have some on topic tattoos with being caucassian at the same time. This is how we differentiate them in germany - you see: "we" and "them". But i'm not nazi :)
funny, in US there was a nazi gang a few years ago, with the group's "leader" having the room full of nazi-stuff, flags and propaganda - as it came out later, he was jewish by himself and did not tell ..
Frank Meeik, Daniel Burros, but the one i mean was just like a joke of a nazi. But still dangerous thinking.
You can find quite a lot of data showing that the burden of managing domestic matters falls primarily on women. I would recommend people check out the book Fair Play which examines the problem and puts forward a system where people are assigned various personal tasks that need to be done (there are 100 in total, not all of which may apply to your life/household):
> The result is Fair Play: a time- and anxiety-saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up domestic responsibilities. Rodsky interviewed more than five hundred men and women from all walks of life to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually entails and how to get it all done efficiently. With four easy-to-follow rules, 100 household tasks, and a figurative card game you play with your partner, Fair Play helps you prioritize what's important to your family and who should take the lead on every chore from laundry to homework to dinner.
* https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/44071899-fair-play
* Interview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6FfxfRMQkw
I've recommended it to a few friends and they have had similar stories. Nothing life changing, but some small, nice changes to the dynamic and how they think about it.
This is probably the best (and maybe the only) way that this is a good game. As soon as it turns into score keeping, the relationship will almost certainly go sideways.
Maybe some relationships should go sideways, but that can be addressed in a different way.
The system / cards is not about keeping score: each card is a task, and whomever holds the card is responsible for it from start to finish. E.g., three of the cards are "Meals (Weekday Breakfast)", "Meals (Kids; School Lunch)", and "Meals (Weekday Dinner)"; this may fall to one person, but there is also the "Groceries" card:
> Your family needs to eat. Can we all agree on that? Good. So how do the pantry and refrigerator get stocked on an ongoing basis? With CPE. This includes noticing what’s about to be used up or expire, keeping a running grocery list, and getting to the market . . . ideally before you realize there’s not a drop of milk in the fridge. Even if your family orders groceries online and your go-to dinner is frozen pizza, this card requires CPE nearly 365 days a year. Consult the various “Meals” cardholders regularly so you can be sure you have taco shells in the cupboard for taco night.
* https://fairplaypolicy.org/the-cards
So the Meals person(s) have to plan the meal(s), and make an ingredient list for those specifically, and add to to a grocery list, but grocery buyer needs to take stock of what is already present in the fridge/freezer/pantry and buy anything missing generally, and specifically for the meals planned.
For those who aren't Giants/baseball fans, Mike Krukow (the Giants' color commentator) is retiring at the end of this season. He and Duane Kuiper have been the Giants' primary TV broadcast team for something like 37 years and have been best friends since they were teammates in the early '80s.
Krukow's mind is still sharp, but he has inclusion body myositis, and it's becoming unsafe for him to be anywhere other than at home.
It's just an emotional situation all around. They both thought that they would probably continue broadcasting together for at least a few more years, and now they're not.
So they're pulling out all of their usual schticks -- including poking fun at the fans -- and taking them really, really far because they know it's the last time.
I'm sure they would agree they went a little too far with that one.
But no -- I know too many Black women who have -- I suppose -- chosen forgiveness. Too many intelligent humans that I know or know of, are good with this for me to say "No, ladies, you are wrong."
My only conclusion is the whole idea of "listen to women" is itself simplistic as it assumes women all think the same. Certainly I still listen to women, but im not willing to assume they all feel a certain way just because a few people insist they do. Otherwise Im just ignoring the women with the minority view
> C. T. Studd, (1860-1931) the famed English missionary who served God in China, India, and Africa, once remarked: "Remember the miller's donkey. The miller, son and donkey went to the market. The miller rode the donkey all the way and people exclaimed, 'Cruel man, riding himself and making his son walk.' So he got down and his son rode; then people slanged, 'What a lazy son for riding while poor old father walks.' Then both father and son rode, and people then said, 'Cruelty to animals, poor donkey.' So they got down and carried the donkey on a pole, but folks said, 'Here are two asses carrying another ass.' Then all three walked and people said, 'What fools to have a donkey and not ride it.' So let's go ahead with our work for God and not care what folks say."
Secular wisdom for the ages! 150 years ago we would have been taking a donkey to market wrong. Now with the advent of YouTube and Reddit and Twitter we've charted vast new swaths of incorrect behavior that we can leverage to make ourselves feel superior to others.
[1] https://www.actsweb.org/articles/article.php?i=295&d=2&c=6
Online behavior is unfortunately a slightly worse mirror of real life. If you want to experience people outside of your bubble, just go to any public hearings or meetings and you’ll find that a lot of people are quite out there.
Because "of similar situations she'd seen".
She had magically deep telepathic abilities, it seems.
Flip genders and most likely people say things like this. Somehow men are just expected to deal with this but if it’s directed at a woman it’s all bad.
While also erasing everything that is real about that person's life, too.
I cringe whenever I hear someone angrily yell something like "You don't/can't know how I feel!", because unless the person making the accusation knows the accused very, very well, they could well be really stepping it. Nobody makes it through this life unscathed. Everybody loses people they love. Everybody gets kicked in the gut multiple times in life. Yes, everyone's personal life story, if you get specific enough, isn't exactly like someone else's. I won't claim to know exactly what it's like to be sexually abused, for instance. Wouldn't dream of it. Very serious issue. But I've had kicks to the gut that the one screaming that they may not have an exact analog for either.
I may not know how your exact gut punch feels. Maybe you've had noticeably more gut punches than I have. But everybody has had some sort of experience with them.
If one day a genie's magic spell made you see text pop ups above everyone's head with their traumas and abuses in life, and the emotional and physical burdens they're carrying today, you'd probably have a very hard time walking down the street.
Similarly, I really have a distaste for any variation of the "everyone's sheep" meme, especially when it's because they're not being active in some particular political way that the person flinging the meme around thinks they should be. If you could see those popups, maybe you'd understand why not everyone has a bunch of spare time to do whatever it is you think they should do to not be "sheep". Looking out on to a crowd of people and presuming they are "sheeple" reveals a lack of imagination and sympathy with people rather that the possession of a wise eye and strong understanding of the world.
Communicating with relatives on the other side of the world.
Maintaining old friendships that would have died due to distance.
Somewhere to find like minded people.
Somewhere like hacker news (I count it as social media top) where I discovered great books, expanded my horizons and learnt that there were other ways at looking at the world.
Anyway, it's not all bad :)
The question to me is, with enough content and a powerful enough recommendation algorithm trained with enough eyeballs can short form videos be considered addictive in a clinical sense? If so what are the deleterious effects of the addiction? Should it be regulated?
I’m all for freedom, but we regulate drugs because we deem them bad for society.
Keeping in touch with relatives or friends in much of the world has long since moved to chat apps like WhatsApp instead of an open social network.
Social media kept me from attempting suicide during COVID. It helps me feel loved and connected.
Yeah, there are faults, but condemning it wholeheartedly is like suggesting we should abolish ICE cars immediately.
And suggesting we abandon it as a comment on a social media platform is ironically self-unaware.
Social media before algorithmic attention hacking wasn’t nearly as bad, might have been a net good.
The first thing the algorithm destroyed was the “social” part of social media. Then it set about destroying society and kids attention spans.
There's a widespread problem of anti-intellectualism and acting-out, including, in the US, by both right and left. Most of the learning feedback to that -- pointing out to people when they might be missing something or acting unfairly -- is ignored, except to attack those who point it out.
AFAICT, for various reasons, they're proud of being warriors for their beliefs, and anyone who sounds like they're saying anything differently is the enemy, and the only thing you do with an enemy is score points against them or hurt them, while trying not to concede anything that the enemy would claim as points or hurt you. It's a toxic recipe for society.
Coincidentally, recently I've decided even Fedi isn't safe from that (it's just different and fewer people doing ideological bully thinking), and have resigned myself that issues of substance can't be discussed there either. Maybe the only safe thing to post is cat pictures.
I think it's much less a problem with HN. Of course, over time you realize certain positions get downvotes that aren't flattering to the people doing it, and some annoying commenting behaviors, and not always all the integrity we'd like to see, which are relatively mild by social media standards. However, I'm also seeing occasional random individual actor extreme toxicity problems with HN. And I'm anticipating some related but different kind of problems from how AI-powered tools will be easily used with the corpus/firehose to play toxic games.
As of 2026, it's disingenuous to both sides this issue, at least in the US
Kinda off topic, but as a single Father I cant help but notice how much less of a support system Fathers get. When shit hits the fan its always people assuming the worst. A Fathers major support system is their Wives and Family. Good for him for having such a great Woman by his side... Im not complaining, just an observation
As author wrote: we need to practice the benefit of the doubt. Or I like the “trust but verify” pattern
I’m not so sure, I’m convinced people would not bat an eye. Or at least I don’t expect any positive compliments, only neutral or negative.
Article is about the impact of social media pile-ons (and has been getting praise within tech) so it is within scope for HN.
Also I note that a lot of "legacy" pretexts for shaming are off the table. It's not done to shame people simply for being gay; that's now acceptable even in Conservative circles. So perhaps the total shame has just been redistributed, somewhat arbitrarily.
(And another thing: this has evolved shame resistant politicians just like antibiotic overuse evolved MRSA)
Well, I can't make much progress on or change those things so let me distract myself checking out this shitbird who won't help his wife or hold the baby while she gets some nachos. I can be outraged at him because it's small and tangible compared to being outraged at structural inequality of our current economic reality or the looming climate crisis.
I think it needs to be called out as being bad, and deconstructed properly, and that outrage needs to get redirected back onto the structural issues.
Which is another argument--that when people behave badly because of structural issues, that isn't an excuse.
From roughly 1953 to 2000, the inflation-adjusted cost of the mean house was around $200k-$250k in today's dollars. Now it has nearly doubled, and mortgage rates are on the rise and headed back towards 10%.
And that kind of language to "get discussion going" is well know to those aiming for views.
Someone in my area was in her apartment doing dishes while her kid was playing in the playground in the apartment complex's common area in front of the unit. (https://fox40.com/news/local-news/sacramento-mother-faces-ch...) Someone called CPS and complained that she was inside, while her kid was outside. Even though most anyone would agree it was a nuisance call, they still charged her and opened a case, telling her that if her child is ever out of her direct sight, she'll be violation of the rule they just made up.
Nothing stops CPS from making up their own rules. There's even an effort to specify in each states' laws that parents letting children roam free isn't legally endangerment, but despite having such language in their laws, a mom was recently prosecuted in Virginia, for similarly letting her child roam within a gated common area. (https://www.cbsnews.com/news/virginia-mom-child-abuse-convic...)
We’d spend our time playing spies and hiding in the bushes watching neighbors do whatever, or looking for crawfish in the creek, or just breaking sticks on trees in the woods lol.
It's worse, grown ass adults who taught me that this kind of reaction is wrong growing up are the same ones I see behaving this way now.
These can cause serious damage to the lives of ordinary people.
They totally did it to entertain themselves, but I'm sure it got a few people riled up thinking that the dad was a jerk.
It is amazing how many haters emerge like in this case, when there is so much more to the story.
I really hoped all that stopped and the fun has worn off.
Go from "X great, Y OK" to "X great, Y terrible".
> When I’ve cried reading the comments and the social media “explanations” of our marriage. The man people have been attacking was the one who consoled me. While strangers described how little he must care about me, he was helping me through the hurt their words have caused.
https://fs.blog/david-foster-wallace-this-is-water/
Though the memory of owning one and knowing about different brands of baby carriers feels like it belongs to another lifetime now.
A lot of people owe this family an apology. Here’s a sampling of some of the vile comments left on Reddit.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/comments/1wpll52/clip_of_a_...
https://archive.is/MlgWh
> Whoever sees this and it reminds them of their current relationship, DUMP HIM
> you can tell by the body language, lack of initiative, and lack of joy and welcome-ness for his woman and baby to be back, everything you need to know.
> There is a VERY good chance that when he realizes he went viral for being the *Poster Manchild* of taking your spouse for granted, of choosing to act like a parasitic blob
Modern Reddit provides a simulacrum of commentary. There are posts and people discusing these posts, but nobody understands or wants to know anything about the underlying topic. The lack of comprehension is crucial to the community.
Damn, do these people really jump out of joy whenever their SO, parent, child, friend, or whoever comes back after a 10' chore?
Life is not a movie, “coming back” is a dozen-times-of-day occurrence, no one will cheer you back from the toilets.
Doubly reminded of that as I'm watching a DEFCON talk where he cites fake Internet points as a driving motivator. Which is my feeling too but yeah idk the whole thing is missing that "we're real people" thing.
Perhaps you could endow your claim with some evidence.
we don't dismiss claims of poorly written code with "but it compiles!"
Thing is, I also twigged it as heavily LLM written when I read it, so. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The idea is universally we can all relate to the negative, but the good is rarely universal, but often local.
This is what drives social media or media in general to tend negative.
https://matthewevanseducation.substack.com/p/why-context-mat...
> Six weeks before my daughter was born, my employer of 13 years laid off my entire division. Ramses had just put up the down payment on a bigger home for our growing family. My unemployment meant he was facing the mortgage payments and managing a remodel on his own, while we prepared to welcome another child.
The brain does what it does in an attempt to help you, but not often it hits the mark, sometimes it takes a bit of a reminder to pause and unpack things more carefully.
You can't win with these people.
...
It's like how some people can come across as very 'nice' and helpful superficially but really it's all virtue signalling and they're actually serial backstabbers; awful, unreliable, untrustworthy people. I met many people like this so I know not to judge a book by its cover.
Quite ironic when we are talking about an article which argues for extending the benefit of the doubt.
It's trained on the speech of online commenters like us; That's where it's getting these. I'm not gonna change just because Timmy the Zoomer has been with his LLM girlfriend for the past three years and occasionally I remind him of her. I'm not going to deliberately code switch into somebody who doesn't open a new tab to Google things as he talks about them. And you can take my bullet point lists from my cold, dead hands.
Pangram does not report this as 100% LLM generated. Why do I use the word "touched" - because there are some specific details that must have come from some existing text and are not elsewhere.
How did I do the check? Please do check my results! I copied just the authored prose from the page, carefully removing any comments and site text that got mixed in. I did not have it analyze the "URL".
In looking at the details, a large part of the story is flagged as all human generated.
I've personally used LLMs when I've been very upset. I used it to rewrite / edit my rant into something with a more balanced tone. The modified text got what I wanted, my original rant would almost certainly not have.
So I do think this was a thought out piece that was largely written by a human who used an LLM as an "editor" to polish the writing. Someone took time to think about this and write it.
Some people say that AI is glorified spellchecker and then they complain when it’s used like a glorified spellchecker.
IMHO It's when you see someone who is paid to write/think using LLMs that you might make a value judgement.
I once knew a girl who wore prescription-free glasses b/c it made her feel smarter so she'd study longer. Not kidding. I made a value judgement about that. But she got the studying done. There's been other more prevalent cases of that on socials.
It might be worth letting some people write in any way they can.
Even before reading, I would assume a non-professional writer would lean on ai to try to figure out what points she wanted to hit and how to phrase things. The cost right now for that is the writing can be somewhat bland, but sometimes that isn't a big problem. Haven't we all seen enough incoherent ai slop to understand the value of editorial oversight by now?
I am working on a libretto in my free time, a hobby I've had for 15 years. Lyrics that would previously take me a week often take an evening. Nearly every suggested stanza and bar is rewritten by me still, but these models can be very helpful in explore the structure of beats to hit, imagery that may or may not land, rhyme and phonetic space etc. Maybe it's ai psychosis or cope but I think my current project is a leap beyond my last two plays. Isn't that what matters for creative expression at the end of the day?
We detached this subthread from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=49858463 and marked it off topic.